OH NO! NOT TAURUS!

Many moons ago when the world I and where young and the King’s Road had only just been invented I used to eat at Thierry’s, a French restaurant in Chelsea on a regular basis.

I happen to remember the restaurant not for the food and wine – which was excellent, not for the company – which more often than not was the Wend – but because behind the door of the gents was a poster of sexual positions for each star sign.

I only raise this now because on recently Googling for star signs the poster came up on my screen. I was delighted because it was like meeting an old friend! Yet like meeting a friend after a 40 year gap you are not too sure if you are pleased to see them or not.

Although I was a child or rather a teen come 20s of the swinging 60s what swung was largely in the media rather than my bedsit in an attic in Belsize Park. Hence the poster presented aspirations – like the picture of a gleaming red Ferrari - rather than reality. In 2010 I have moved on a fair bit and now the positions do not look like the achievable but a threat.

So I would just like to say here and now would any Taurians please keep their distance whilst I, as a 100 per cent Aquarian, lay back and think of England – or rather Spain winning the World Cup.