WHY DOES EARWAX TASTE SO GROSS?

Before I answer that question let me introduce Mitchell Symons. Back in the days when “If It’s In The Press, It’s Got To Be True!” was a live show at the Global Café in London’s Soho there was also a very successful website of the same name.

One of the features of the website was our “Columnist of the Week” and “Columnist of the Year”. The “If It’s In The Press” team selected their favourite piece written by a columnist each week and the writer who had the most over the year received the acclaimed accolade – well acclaimed by us anyway.

Mitch started a column with the Daily Express and I think was our “Columnist of the Week” on his first outing. He ran away with the annual award that year and almost repeated the feat the following year but was pipped at the post by Carol Sarler.

However there are far more strings to his bow and he was a principal writer of the board game Trivial Pursuit and over the years has published a string of highly successful trivia books. Christ Tarrant, who knows a thing or two about trivia said: “Mitch knows more totally useless things about useless subjects than anyone else on earth.”

Recently my son stated some fact about a well known star having Red Indian blood which I duly rubbished. However I was immediately crushed when he said the immortal words: “Mitchell Symons said it was true in one of his books.” End of argument!

Over the years Mitch has published amongst many titles a series of books – How to Avoid a Wombat’s Bum, Why Eating Bogeys Is Good for you, How Much Poo Does an Elephant Do? And Why Do Farts Smell Like Rotten Eggs? Hence Why Does Ear Wax Taste So Gross? follows a well trodden path.

So why the title? Mitch said: “I don’t think ear wax tastes so gross – well, mine doesn’t anyway. But my wonderful editor (who came up with the title) thinks ear wax definitely has the ‘yuck’ factor, especially when left for as long as a month before being picked!”

Now this series of Mitch’s books are published by Doubleday –Random House Children’s Books. Certainly they are ideal for kids but I suspect most adults would also find them a fascinating read. For instance did you know the swan has the most feathers of any bird? That Lindsay Lohan keeps her appendix in a jar in her bedroom or there are more pyramids in Peru than in Egypt? I suspect not!

Mitch has kindly sent me a copy of the book to offer as a prize. To get in to the draw simply answer this question – according to Mitch – In 1938 Phyllis Newcombe, 22,combusted spontaneously at a dance hall during – a) a waltz; b) fox trot or c) quick step.

Send your answer by email to: ifitsinthepress@yahoo.co.uk by Friday December 4 2009 and the first correct entry will be the winner. The winner will be posted that day on: http://www.ifitsinthepress.blogspot.com/

(Why Does Earwax Taste So Gross? By Mitchell Symons. Doubleday – Random House ISBN 9780385615709)

THIS ONCE GREEN AND PLEASANT LAND

There is a hot debate in England rather than in the entire UK over the British National Party – the BNP. It is essentially an English beast although it adopts the name of the total nation.

Let me start by saying that I totally reject everything this far right group of hate stands for.

Equally I reject everything those who say they are anti-fascist, supposedly of the far left, who come out on to the streets to protest against the BNP and give a policeman a good kicking whilst they are at it, stand for too.

They are twin yolks from the same egg.

I would not want to live in either of their worlds – and equally I have no doubt my presence would not be tolerated.

That having been said I have no problem with the BNP being given a platform to speak from in the national media. The party won seats at council and European level at recent elections therefore its representatives were democratically elected.

In a democracy you have to take the rough with the smooth. I know that in some US Conservative circles, especially those expounded on Fox News, the belief is that people only have a right to democracy if they think the same as these Republicans do. Mercifully few of us chant their mantra.

Ironically I believe the BNP can be good for British democracy. The party has only gained prominence because the section of people who support this rabble believe the mainstream parties are not even addressing let alone answering their concerns.

Labour, Conservative and Liberal politicians have become far removed from the everyday problems faced by those who see no hope in their lives. Nick Griffin comes as a timely kick up the backside.

However ultimately the rise of the BNP is due to the disastrous decline of the Labour Party in its traditional heartland. The majority of BNP votes were Labour votes – you only have to look at the seats they have won to see this truth.

“What about the workers” used to be the socialist cry? Now under New Labour we are all workers – or rather we are all middle class workers, except of course we are not... nor do we inhabit the Blair, Mandelson dreamland. There every minority has a voice, has its rights set in stone – not surprising really as Blair and Mandelson are minorities themselves. Indeed they have been so busy giving voice to the New Labour project that they left the majority abandoned, rooted in silence.

What Labour has to address is the plight of the unemployed, the fears of those who live on the borderline, those who are scared because they are foreigners in their own communities, those who dare not walk on their streets or go out at night.

The Labour Party used to be their mouthpiece and refuge. If the party doesn’t rise to the challenge and take back that role the BNP will step in to fill the void. It would not give Nick Griffin the votes to rule the once green and pleasant land but it would change the political landscape... and the Labour Party then eventually democracy would be the losers.

(Of course right wing extremists are not just a British phenomenon. As Nick Griffin was proclaiming the BNP doctrine on the BBC the Guardia Civil were arresting five members of the Falange in Navarra and Zaragoza. They are alleged to have carried out violent actions in the Comunidad Foral and Pais Vasco in the name of the Falange y Tradición. The Falange was the party of the Franco dictatorship).

THE STREETS OF LONDON

I recently received an email from Tony, a regular reader of my blog and a person I have known for more years than either of us would admit to.

Tony is Irish, which is only relevant in regard to what he writes below. At the top of this blog are two photographs from a selection that accompanied the original email sent to him. I was going to add my usual ha’pence worth but to be honest I think the photos and Tony’s remarks say it all! You of course are welcome to add your views!

In Spain, unlike Britain, we live in a country that was occupied by the Moors for many centuries. Some of the great monuments such as the Alhambra and the mosque turned cathedral in Córdoba date from that time which was viewed as a golden age. Radical Muslims have also laid claim to what once was Al Andalus.

EMAIL TO TONY WITH PHOTOS:

Makes you wonder doesn't it...can you imagine having a Christian demonstration against Islam in downtown Baghdad?

View the pictures and decide how you really feel about the future of the Western World. These pictures are of Muslims marching through the STREETS OF LONDON during their ‘Religion of Peace Demonstration’.

‘Why would anyone think that we should be at war with such nice, peaceful Muslims?!’ These pictures tell it all! Muslims have stated that England will be the first country they take over! These are pictures not shown on American TV or in American Newspapers, but were forwarded by a Canadian who thought All of us in the World ought to know!

TONY’S VIEW:

This is something I received from a friend in the UK. I cannot believe that this type of demonstration is allowed. Isn’t incitement to violence a crime? Provocation of this type is designed to put the "fear of Allah" into normal ordinary people rather than promote any type of integration or mutual understanding. Had the supporters of the IRA attempted to mount a demonstration of this kind during the "troubles", I have no doubt they would have been jailed for provoking violence, or racial or religious hatred - and rightly so.

With the Muslim population of Britain standing at 5 per cent, their influence over the government’s approach seems totally disproportionate to the size of their population.

WHAT'S ZAPATERO SAYING?

I recently wrote on Spanglish and today the theme is taken up on the Yahoo España blog.

The key interest is in Spanish politicians and their inability to communicate in English. Of course this is not a problem at home but it certainly is on the international stage where English rules albeit the US variety.

Yahoo España takes various Spanish politicians to task for their inability to converse well in English.

It quotes the Israeli president Simon Peres saying the world would be better if the English of Aznar improved.

José María Aznar could communicate with Tony Blair even though his English was poor because they both speak French. It also says that he could talk happily with George W Bush because of the Texan’s good Spanish – which is amusing to us because the US President frequently murdered his English.

I do not believe that Zapatero speaks English – the blog says he rarely uses it even with Barack Obama who hailed him – "José Luis, qué pasó". I thought he did speak French but then the blog says that when he addressed the French Parliament he received a loud, enthusiastic round of applause when he told the MPs he was switching from French to his native Spanish.

The alternative looks no brighter as Mariano Rajoy, the opposition Partido Popular leader, admits he doesn’t speak English. So maybe the world has to move on and switch from English to Spanglish!

A MILLION SAY NO

On Saturday around a million people gathered in the plaza de Independencia in Madrid to protest against the Spanish government’s new abortion law.

I say a million because one of the organisers, HazteOir, claimed 1.5 million, the Madrid authority 1.2 million whilst the police estimated 250,000 – however the consensus seems to be around the million mark and not surprisingly the protest made headlines around the world.

The new law would allow girls of 16 to have an abortion without their parents’ consent or even knowing about it. For many who support abortion this is a step too far.

Other provisions of the proposed abortion law, approved by the cabinet last month, would allow the procedure on demand for women of 16 and over up to the 14th week of pregnancy, and up to 22 weeks if there was a risk to the mother's health or if the foetus was deformed. Women could also undergo the procedure after 22 weeks if the foetus had a serious or incurable illness.

In my past blogs I have made my beliefs very clear. I do not support abortion except where the woman’s life or health is endangered or in cases of incest or rape. I do not believe abortion should be used as a belated form of contraception. I believe the unborn foetus has rights even if it doesn’t have a vote – and it is our duty to defend those rights.

I also accept and respect the fact that others have very different beliefs than my own although Spain seems to be very much divided on the subject.

An opinion poll published in ABC newspaper ahead of the protest said 42 percent of Spaniards believed there was no overwhelming popular support for the abortion reforms, compared to 38 percent who believed there was. Earlier polls had shown many 56 per cent of socialists who support the PSOE government were very unhappy over allowing 16 year olds to be able to have an abortion without their parents’ knowledge or consent against 64 per cent opposition across the board.

I am happy enough that HazteOir and other associations including those with Catholic links staged this demonstration and are running on-going campaigns. Of course for most Catholics abortion is a red-line issue but I would prefer to see the laity taking the lead rather than pronouncements from the Bishop’s palace.

However what makes me uneasy is that the opposition Partido Popular has taken up the issue. I suspect it sees it as another stick to beat the government with. As there are socialists who are for and against the new law so too the members of the PP must be divided amongst themselves.

This should not be a political issue but a moral one hence when it comes to a vote in the Spanish Parliament the MPs should act in line with their conscience and not according to the orders of PSOE’s Zapatero or PP’s Rajoy.

SO WAS IT MCCOLUMBUS?

When I blogged on Friday on Christopher Columbus aka Cristobal Colón I stated that I had always been led to believe that he was from Genoa but that the latest research suggested he was a Catalan Jew – see the blog below.

This led to Malcolm Davidson sending in a comment that he wasn’t Spanish, Catalan or Italian but Scottish. Well if there are a people far too big for their boots other than the Catalans it’s the Scots.

None-the-less I admit I had read a report in the Daily Telegraph suggesting that Christopher Columbus was actually Pedro Scotto, a likely tale I say.

Here’s what the Daily Telegraph had to say: “Alfonso Ensenat de Villalonga has disputed conventionally-accepted narratives on the explorer’s origins - that he was the son of a weaver in Genoa, Italy, or that he was from Catalonia or Galicia in Spain.

“In fact, he was from Genoa, but he was “the son of shopkeepers not weavers and he was baptised Pedro not Christopher,” Mr Villalonga told Spain’s ABC newspaper on Sunday.

“And his family name was Scotto, and was not Italian but of Scottish origin.

“He had light-coloured eyes and freckles. He also had blond hair even though it quickly turned white. That’s how his contemporaries described him. Nothing like the traditional images (of him), which are totally invented,” the historian said.

“Mr Villalonga cited a chronicle of Catholic kings written by Lucio Marineo Siculo, who referred in his writings to "Pedro Columbus", not Christopher.

“The historian has also claimed that the navigator once worked for a pirate called Vincenzo Columbus, and adopted that family name in order not to "expose" his relations.

“Mr Villalonga said his research involved combing the archives in the Genoa region along with those in the Spanish history academy and national library.”

All well and good but until I see a picture of Christopher Columbus wearing a kilt and munching haggis I will remain unconvinced. So I will still cling to the belief that he hailed from Mediterranean origins and not north of Hadrian’s Wall.

COLUMBUS WAS CATALAN (& JEWISH)

It appears that Christopher Columbus aka Cristóbal Colón in Spanish was a Catalan. I am easy enough with that except of course the Catalan people are already very full of themselves so the news that the great explore is one of their own threatens to swell their collective large head even further.

I have to hold my hand up and admit that I thought Cristóbal hailed from Genoa in Italy and had just discovered the Americas on behalf of the Spanish King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella - which just goes to show how little I know - or rather those who taught me.

The placing of Colón as a Catalan rests with research carried out by Estelle Irizarry who is the professor emeritus of Spanish literature at the University of Georgetown in Washington. Her findings come as the result of looking at the DNI of Colón’s writings.

This establishes him as a Catalan who was from the territory of the old kingdom of Aragón that was ruled by Ferdinand. It appears he learnt Catalan before he tackled Spanish, which was his second language, but it is stated that he expressed himself in an incorrect manner in both tongues. I am warming to him already.

His Spanish is said to have been a form that appeared on the scene around 100 years before his first voyages at the time when there were terrible massacres of the Jews, the Spanish Jews, and the language was called Ladino. Having studied Colón’s writings Irizarry is of the opinion he was writing in Catalan Ladino and hence he was a Catalan Jew.

If that is the case the fact that his background has been a mystery is probably no accident but rather an up till now a very successful plot to hide his Jewish heritage at an extremely sensitive time. What gave Colón away says Irizarry is the use of a slash symbol that he employed to indicate pauses in sentences. That symbol, known as a virgule, did not appear in texts of that era written in Castilian nor in writings from any other country, but only in records and letters from the Catalan-speaking areas of the Iberian Peninsula - present-day Catalonia and the Balearic Islands.

So unlike many Spanish writers of that time, including the acclaimed Cervantes – whose books had periods and comas added in the 19 th century, Colón was a punctuator. That fact places him as a Catalan and Jewish – full stop.